I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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