I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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