are you still at the devil's house?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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