Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
