i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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