thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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