HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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