she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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