when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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