i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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