Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
