You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize