why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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