This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
