Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
