all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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