At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
