WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
