Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
