It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Bring me that man meat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
