i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
