Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
