moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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