she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
