You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
