i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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