Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
