It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
