By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
