If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
