I think i peed on brittanys purse
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You smell like stripper and shame
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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