I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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