I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
