don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
