K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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