But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
