the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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