At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
