so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
should my penis look like a turkey
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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