I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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