That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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