big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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