Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
