there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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