i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
