If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
