hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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