on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We left the knife in your bed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
sex in a hospital.. check
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
