Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You have to summon your inner elephant
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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