If i come over, it means nothing
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize