Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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