they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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