you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
