i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize