Michael Bay diarrhea
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
