Whatcha textin bout Willis?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
