K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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