It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
