Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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