its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
