You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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