I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
