Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize