well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
