sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ketchup is God's man juice
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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