they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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