and you said cock pushups were impossible
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
