it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize