I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
