Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
